Victoria Hotel, Melbourne, Australia - Review
Slip on a t-shirt, thick eyeliner and some shiny stockings
. Haven't left the house. Guzzle half a bottle of red that's been sitting on the shelf. Does opened wine go off or get better with age? Turn off Sydney Rd and follow the pocket of light and noise in the darkness. Wait in line with skinny twenty-somethings with angular haircuts. Is there a cowboy theme? Still waiting to get in. Roll a cigarette. Make it to the door. Scramble for change for the $4 cover charge. There's no cowboy theme, just a lot of plaid shirt action. Hop through the retro black and white dance floor. New Order always gets people going. Lots of carefree kids getting loose. Looks like fun, we'll come back after a drink. Muscle our way through to the front of the bar.Salt, Tequila,Lemon Zing
An inebriated stranger asks me to lick her salt. She asks so cheerily I almost say yes. Weave through the trendies, the bohemians, the dykes, the odd balls. Plenty of laughing, yelling, making out. Feeling the op shop kitsch decor. Just make the 10pm cut off for $12 jugs. Sardined in the courtyard. Hover over patrons until we get a couch. The cushions are nice and sinky. The boys and girls are pretty. So are the coloured fairy lights. Pimms, lemonade and lime. Delicious. My girlfriend steals an abacus from the wall. Get into a meaningful discussion about the definition of 'queer'. Closing time. Boo. Have a smoke by the roadside. Take in the good energy and toxic air.
Feeling off centre from the mainstream heterosexual social structure?Into indie, hip-hop, electro, post-punk and new wave (whatever that means)?Sick of pubs populated by pudgy grey men?You may just be queer, and you may just fall in love with Orlando.
Orlando is a popular Brunswick queer night and runs every last Friday of the month. Profits go to good causes. Also check out the Victoria Hotel's trivia nights and ping pong tournaments.
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