Hope Springs Eternal!
A while ago a young woman came into my counselling rooms thinking that all was lost in her ten year old relationship with her husband
. She discovered e-mails he had been sharing with someone else and believed that he was having an affair.We spoke about what else this could mean but she was sure it meant what she thought it meant. She hadn't yet confronted her husband and wasn't sure how to do so or what she wanted to do if he confirmed what she was thinking or even what she would do if he denied it.
I then asked her if she still loved him. Her reply - 'Yes, with all my heart!' I asked her if she wanted to hold onto this relationship and again she said 'Yes!'. I took some time then to talk to her about the importance of firstly deciding what we want before acting on any unexpected news.
Sometimes we get so caught up in the moment that we forget the big picture. We can so easily lose sight of why we fell in love in the first place and what is really important to us ie what we value most. We can even get caught up in what others would do in similar circumstances instead of acting on what we want to have happen.
Most importantly we lose our sense of 'hope'. For me hope is about seeing the good things from the past as possibilities for the future. As someone once said 'our hopes are but our memories reversed'.
I wish this quote had been mine because it is so true. How many times have you thought or said something like '.... And when we first met he wasn't like this....' or '.... Why did she stop doing that thing which she used to do all the time for me ...'.
What I wanted this young woman to get more than anything is that there is always hope. As long as we want something badly enough we can find a way. The only question left to answer then is 'Does the other party share that hope'. If he or she does then, like so many relationships, we will find a way through.
I recently came across this famous quote from poet and author, Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874-1936), and thought it summed up so aptly what I believe hope to be.
'To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.'
Until next time - Relate with Love
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