Breaking Up Is Hard to Do: Coping with a Break Up
Breaking Up Is Hard to Do: Coping with a Break Up
Many songs have been written about a boy and a girl, once so in love, deciding to go their separate ways. Some people even choose to listen to these kinds of songs for hours on end, drowning their sorrows in the music and lyrics about broken hearts and love lost. Others choose to wallow in their misery in excess while others refuse to acknowledge whatever it is they may be going through. Different people deal with the end of a relationship in their own way. However, some methods may take longer than others and you may not always get the desired result. Here are a few suggestions for you to try when coping with a break up:
1. Take the time to grieve. You lost something that meant a great deal to you and you have every right to take an appropriate amount of time to acknowledge that loss and cry your eyes out if you so desire. The key phrase here is "appropriate amount of time". A few days or weeks are perfectly acceptable time frames for grieving but a whole year seems a tad excessive, don't you think?
2. Get angry but don't get even. Anger is a feeling that you need to accept and acknowledge. It is natural and everyone goes through it. Go ahead and get angry, whether with yourself or with your ex. However, getting even takes things to a whole different plane that may lead to dire consequences. Trying to get back at an ex will only end up making you feel even worse than when you started with the whole coping with a break up process.
3. Avoid playing the blame game. Pointing fingers is way too easy in the aftermath of a break up. He did this, she did not do that. He smothered me with too much attention, she did not seem to notice I existed. These are common analogies exes bring up when wanting to lay the blame for the break up at the other person's feet. Remember that it takes two to make a relationship work and it takes the same number to make a relationship stop working.
4. Accept the end and embrace a new beginning. Acceptance is important in order for you to move forward with your life. Holding on to material things and unresolved feelings will only make you pine for something that is, for all intents and purposes, over. With every ending comes an opportunity for you to begin anew. Your life does not need to end with the demise of a relationship. For all you know, the best is yet to come.
Yes, ending any relationship hurts and you may not be able to get over it as quickly as everyone else around you would like. Surround yourself with friends and loved ones who can give you the support you need. Just remember that coping with a break up is only successful when you are finally able to take those first steps towards the opportunity to love yourself and maybe love someone new in the future.
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