A Social Media Party Guide: Wallflower To Swinger In 6 Stages
It seems to me that if you can learn how to be the life of the party
, you can learn how to work the social media scene. Let's think of it as a party then, and do a run down of how it would work out.Stage One: You Go to the Party
If you're smart, you'll be invited, or better yet, throw the party. The party of course, meaning the place where you socially interact in the social media arena.
On a social news site, the party might get started when you submit a link, or a party in progress might be a story you vote on that's rising in popularity.
Stage Two: You Find the People Who Like What You Like
As Rob Gordon says in High Fidelity, "What really matters is what you like, not what you are like." So find the people who have the same tastes as you, follow what they're voting for, or saving, or where they're hanging out.
So often, friendships are based on common interests.
Stage Three: You Mirror and Create Rapport
You know how you meet someone knew and start picking up their expressions, etc. When you're meeting people online, we also tend to try on aspects of other people's behavior. You'll suggest things to each other, or catch yourself imitating one of the Alpha Populars.
There's actually a scientific background to this. For example, in the book Unlimited Power, Anthony Robbins talks about how establishing rapport can be used to build connections to other people.
Stage Four: You Make a Gesture
Eventually, you'll start to drill down to your favorite folks, and in natural course, do something for them. It's partially the paying of an imagined social debt - when people enrich our lives by sharing information we enjoy, we often feel like reciprocating.
That's one of the reasons the free ebook still works to get newsletter sign-ups.
Stage Five: The Gesture is Appreciated, or Even Reciprocated
When you get feedback from shared links, when you are thanked for your gesture, or the person you hooked up does you some kind of solid back, you've definitely got the basis for a relationship.
It's a two-way street.
Stage Six: You Are Friends, Or the Life of the Party
At least, you are in the online sense of the phrase. This is the time when you can send a link out of the blue even if you haven't spoken in a few days. Not only that, this link is voted on, passed around, or shared.
So there you go, you're popular again, ten times more than you were in high school. Just remember the most important thing you can do in a relationship is to maintain or enhance it. It isn't magic, you have to keep working on any relationship you want to keep intact.
So don't take this new connection for granted, and keep doing the thing that made you become familiar to each other in the first place.
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