Wealth Secret: Gimme A Break! Or Maybe The Benefit Of The Doubt...

Share:    

When was the last time you gave someone the benefit of the doubt

? If you are like most people, it's been a long time. What you probably do (most of us do!) is take every little thing personally. A friend is in a bad mood and makes a comment that you consider hurtful and your mind builds a whole story around how judgmental and demeaning she always is. Or, your spouse forgets to pick up the milk that you were waiting on as the vital ingredient in your dinner recipe and suddenly your mind focuses in on all of the other ways he has been absent-minded and forgetful about something you needed. Or your boss gets short and snippy with you when you make a simple mistake and suddenly you feel totally unappreciated and begin to hate your job.

What if the next time someone in your life did something hurtful or mean-spirited, you recognized that it had nothing to do with you at all and you let it go instead of attaching a whole story to it?

Now, you might be saying - wait a minute, how could something directed at me (like a comment or an action) have nothing to do with me?

Wrap your mind around this - almost nothing that happens in your relationships with other people has anything to do with you.

I first learned this lesson when I was in law school, working as a research assistant for a professor. I really liked this professor, but once I began working for her I noticed that she would sometimes be really mean to me. I felt like I must be the worst RA ever.

One night, I was talking to my dad about this and what he said was a huge wake up call to me.

He said "Lex, how could you be so self-centered that you think everything is about you? You have no idea what's going on with her life - who called her right before you walked in, whether she got in a fight with her husband last night or whether she just got bad news in the mail. She doesn't hate you and isn't being mean to you. Stop taking everything personally."

Huh? Taking everything personally. But, she was being mean to me, how could I not take it personally. I must have done something wrong, right? WRONG! My dad was absolutely right; I needed to get out of my self and give my professor the benefit of the doubt. She wasn't being mean to me because she didn't like me; she was grumpy because something happened in her life and I just happened to be there.

Instead, what I could do is feel compassion for her and not take anything personally.

It's so easy to jump to conclusions about people or things, isn't it? Someone says something a certain way or does that certain thing that pushes our buttons and instantly we're taken to a place of reaction and unnecessary emotional response.

by: Alexis Martin Neely

POST COMMENT

Sleep Well With A Philip Stein Watch Photography Sales And Selling Tips: 7 Power Words That Will Skyrocket Your Sales And Profits How Hot &great Job Search Made Easy? ATTRACTION MARKETING Definition; the most cost-effective way to build your MLM Business The Advanced Money Spells What Is Fear Costing You? Tips To Design Your Website Properly Acne Scar Removal_tips & Technique Frbiz.com Analyzes Nokia Sues Apple For Patent Infringement In Order To Obtain License Revenue Leverage Viral Video Marketing to Benefit Your Business Tom Schreiter Review - Can "Big Al" Help You Explode Your Business Today? Book Sales Letter Needs To Get The Most Visibility & Sales ...... Business Transformation Lessons From a City in Transition