Advice About Your Ex Girlfriend - The One Thing That You Did Not Want To Deal With

Once the smoke cleared and you realized that the break up with your girlfriend was

real and wasn't just a passing moment, there was one thing that you really did not want to have to deal with. You knew that the day would come eventually, you just hoped that it wouldn't. It's the day when you find out that the woman you still carry a torch for, the woman you are still in love with, is dating someone new. She has a new guy in her life and just hearing about this makes you feel almost like throwing up. There have been things that you have had to deal with in your life that were hard as nails to endure, but nothing has seemed to have the impact that learning about your ex girlfriend's new boyfriend has seemed to had on you.

We all know that once a break up happens, that eventually the one we were dating is going to end up dating someone else. I think we just hope in some way that it is all a bad dream that we can eventually wake up from and when that does not happen, it makes us feel like we just cannot handle it. Although that may be the way that it feels for you right now, that does not have to be the case if you are able to find a way to handle this in a healthy and productive manner. The sad thing is, most men seem to find that they would rather indulge in their sadness and depression about the break up and the fact that their ex girlfriend is with a new guy. Instead of finding a way to move in from this situation, they make the choice to let the situation wear them down.

It's natural that this would feel like a situation that you don't want to deal with, but that does not mean that you can and should avoid it. Avoiding your issues is never the right choice to make. When you just try to avoid the fact of the matter, you are creating a delusion for yourself, one that is never going to be of any benefit for you. What you do have to do is to admit the fact that your ex girlfriend has found a way to move on and rebound and that this may be a good time for you to think about doing the same. It's not healthy to just think about her being with someone else and how bad that it makes you feel that she is not thinking about you and that she may never come back to you.

Of course, it is an easy thing for me to just say that you need to be able to move on and not think about what has happened, but that is not what I want to do. I want to feed you some ideas of what you can do to try and move on from this situation so that you can deal with this in the most healthy and productive manner possible. That way you don't feel like you are totally confused and don't know what to do now that you are in this situation.

Here is some advice on what to do when you don't want to deal with the fact that your ex girlfriend is with a new man:

1) Think about the fact that you should be moving on as well and let that motivate you to try and find a way to move on.

Maybe your motivation was lacking before, but now you really do have a good reason to try and get over your ex. She has already made the first move in trying to get over you, so there really is no reason why you should just linger back in the past and think about trying to get her back. There is a chance that you might be able to do that in the future, but for right now, you should be thinking about dating someone else. It's okay for you to do this even if you still have some feelings for her. You may find that after a few dates with a new woman that you no longer really think about your ex girlfriend as being someone you want to be with anymore.

2) Find out what it is that seems to be holding you back from meeting someone new.

Besides the fact that you are still attracted to your ex girlfriend and you still think about her a lot of the time, there are probably other reasons why you had held back from meeting someone new. It may be that you don't go out enough to places where there are women you could mingle with. It may be that you don't have the confidence to really believe that someone could want to date you. Whatever the reason is that you have held back from meeting a new woman, you have to try and find a way to get around your blocks. That is the only way that you are truly going to be able to move on and have a better and brighter future.

3) Look for a way to win her back, because she may be just in a rebound relationship right now.

Even though I think that you should really try your best to find someone new to date, you may also want to think about the fact that you could win her back somewhere in the future. What your ex girlfriend may be doing right now is rebounding, and that does not usually lead to a long term relationship. Sometimes it does, but often it does not. So, that does provoke the idea that she may be single again in the near future and if you have a solid plan for winning her back, that may be what you want to do.

by: Jayson Lautner

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