subject: The Cycle Of Quitting [print this page] There are two types of quitting: There are two types of quitting:
1) Giving up
2) Walking away from something harmful or hurtful
I will be the first to tell you that business is messy and it can sting. I mean really sting sometimes, especially if you are sensitive like I am. Underneath this whip cracker exterior is someone who cares too much at times, so I often take things personally- someone leaves, someone doesn't value your program or work and the really interesting part is... the more you serve the more that quit or complain. Phew. Breathe. It can be overwhelming. I am working on taking things less personal as it does not serve me or my clients, but it is a daily practice.
I get a bird's eye view of - THE QUITTERS. I know some would say we should talk about the winners, but I must say I probably learn more from the quitters. The winners show up, suck up, cry, stomp, celebrate, and then rinse and repeat over and over. Every successful entrepreneur I have EVER worked with, mentored with, or been a colleague to has had the exact same formula.
The quitters are a bit more interesting. They are very creative and it is interesting where and how "quitting" shows up. Now remember the #1 reason businesses fail is people stop- yep-stop. I am thinking of writing a book on the quitters cycle because I have been watching when it starts to creep up on people and kick in. I think it would be useful for people to see a lineage of how it starts and how they might stop themselves, as well as see the difference between something needing to come to an end and just quitting.
It usually appears like this...
Second guessing ~ fear ~ blame ~ projecting ~ overwhelm ~ blame ~ action ~ (the quitting) ~ relief ~ second guessing ~ fear and over again
Fascinating, right? I am using it as a paradigm for myself to catch me and where I am falling into the cycle - you can honestly use it for anything- the gym, your business, a relationship, etc. So, I don't want you to be a quitter...frankly, seeing people give up on their dreams daily can sometimes overwhelm me and blind me to the people actually living theirs, but I know you are out there. I know you are striving and working and living your gifts.
Here are a few tips to stay in the game, even when you would rather throw in the towel:
1) Have a clear vision of exactly what you want- relationship, money, freedom, environment, and spiritual. If you have a clear vision in writing and in your view, it is harder to let that vision go or the dream die.
2) Get real. One of my mentors says... "It is simple, but it is not easy." Success is hard work. No one ever won the Oscar, Gold Medal, Nobel Peace Prize, or Fortune 500 by half ass showing up. And don't fool yourself....are you thinking you are working hard or are you spending a lot of time around thinking about succeeding and processing your next step.
3) Get good advice. The people around me won't let me quit. I have surrounded myself with a circle of influence. I have a tribe of tough and loving go-getters. A friend and coach emailed me last week and said- "hold fast- we need your confidence. Don't stop." That made me cry as I was reminded people were depending on me.
4) Care. I know you have gifts to share. Your life experience has value and people are meant to be transformed by your connection and your talent. Care enough to keep going. Care enough to share and keep going.
If you do what you love and you love people while you do it there is no reason to quit. Stopping is not an option. See you at the finish line!
by: Suzanne Evans
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