subject: Psychological Effects in Children of Divorce - 3 Effects [print this page] If you or your spouse are considering getting a divorce, you are probably wondering about the potential effects that divorce could have on your children. This is a completely natural thing to wonder about. After all, children are an absolutely integral part of a married couple's life. Given how sensitive children are to the needs and emotional state of the family, it is a given that they will be affected by the divorce.
Children and Divorce
Divorce has been a reality in marriage ever since the institution of marriage itself was created. Of course, in many ancient and medieval societies, divorce was much less common than it is today. In the modern developed world, however, divorce rates approach 50% in many countries.
It goes without saying that the mere mention of divorce in a family can cause a number of feelings to well up in the hearts of children. In fact, it would be highly unusual if discussion of a possible divorce did not stir up some serious emotions.
How Divorce Affects the Whole Family
Couples with children are at the helm of families who operate as an integrated unit. Families, no matter how much turmoil or strife has crept into them over the years, function as an integrated whole. Each member of the family is part of the family system. When the parents decide to get a divorce or mention the word divorce as a possibility, that system is threatened. This has deep and lasting effects on the entire family.
Psychological Effects in Children of Divorce
Every child is unique and will react to the prospect of divorce in different ways - even differing in their reaction from their own siblings. Still, there are some common patterns in the emotional reactions and long-term coping strategies that children exhibit when the parents in the family go through divorce. These include:
1. Children can resent one or both of the parents: For a short time or for a long time after the divorce, a child can rest his or her parents for "causing" the divorce and all that it entails. One or both parents can be vilified as the cause of the marital split.
2. They can blame themselves: Some kids can turn the blame onto themselves, resenting or blaming themselves for the entire situation.
3. The divorce can have long-term effects on the child's view of marriage: Some children of divorced parents resist marriage later in life, fearing that they, too may face certain divorce. Others take the opposite route, getting into committed relationships that they fight to preserve through thick and thin. In either case, the divorce of their parents remains a symbolic force in their lives.
Consider these potential psychological effects in children of divorce as you make decisions about the future of your own family.
Psychological Effects in Children of Divorce - 3 Effects
By: Marie-Claire Smith
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