subject: The Essence Of Family In Life [print this page] Family is available in numerous flavours: our parents, our children, siblings, and the broader world of cousins, uncles and aunts, grandparents and grandchildren. As its our parents, children and at times siblings that normally provide the greatest possibilities for an increase in our Happiness levels, I hope youll forgive me if I concentrate on these.
Few people have very powerful feelings regarding their parents, either good or bad, which is hardly surprising, as most of us spent so many years - our formative years - hanging round with them. Not only that, but parents are often more than glad to try to influence our lives, for good or worse, after we come out of the nest. At times we also continue to try to have an effect on them, taking on the parent role in the course - a potential minefield!
The key to a blissful parent-child relationship is simple:
A willingness to completely accept a different persons world,
and to do so with love.
Parents and children may share a home, but they do not always live on the same planet. The question is, are you willing?
I ask because you are probably eager to fly to a faraway country where the people have a different language, different clothes, diverse food, maybe a unique religion. You may be willing - enthusiastic even - to respectfully join in their customs and traditions. You may be willing to read up and do your research to take advantage from your trip. You do this because, maybe, you want - and expect - the best from the experience.
But are you willing to make the unsafe journey to the tribe that lives in a different world across the breakfast table? Or does that place seem like a merciless desert, inhabited only by dangerous savages, a place so unwelcoming that you are convinced that no guide book could have been written about it?
Because that could truly be the trip of a lifetime.
Now, although it is traditional to enhance our relationships with others by listing the issues that should be resolved, Im a tad of a rebel, so I ask coaching clients to begin by listing the positive aspects of their relationships. And as we have built up an awareness of that solid foundation beforehand, when the time comes to look into possible challenges we have a whole ton of goodwill to build on - if we prefer to.
There was a time some years ago when, as it happened, mothering turned out to be my coaching flavour of the month. Certainly, Im no mother, but I had a very vital role - ensuring those clients gave themselves sufficient credit for how well they were doing the #1 most vital job in the world.
Interestingly, seeing the good parent in themselves made it a lot simpler to appreciate what amazing children they had, and seeing their wonderful kids helped them confess that, somewhere along the line, theyd been amazing mothers J
by: Erik Teichmann
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