subject: Fix Marital Life After Verbal Abuse - Helpful Guidelines For The Victim And The Maltreater [print this page] Verbal abuse is a destructive weapon that kills the very soul of the victim. Consistent name-calling, harsh flare-ups and glaring insults form part of this subtle aggression that inflicts psychological violence. They destroy the confidence and threaten the life of the abused. It may exist anywhere, even in the homes of couples.
If youve suffered from this issue, you wonder if there is there still a way to fix your relationship. Fortunately, there is. Read the suggestions below and find out how to overcome this serious trouble.
For the Abused
Leave the past and move on.
A problem can never be fixed if you dont admit it happened in your life. If you keep denying you are in this situation, you will never get over it. Feel the pain and end it with a period. It may seem unmanageable but have the power to leave yesterday behind. Stop blaming your partner and start anew.
Recover your pride.
When you cant defend yourself from the painful accusations and abusive jokes, you gradually lose self-esteem. To rebuild this, focus on your good side and be happy with your strengths. Make a list of your strengths and post them in your room to remind yourself you are worthy of being loved.
Stick with positive people.
Hang out with people who love you for who you are, like your family and best buddies. Joining support groups in your community is also another option. The members can offer emotional backup and practical advices on how to handle this issue with their experience as the main source.
For the Maltreater
Be sorry.
Say sorry for the injury youve caused wholeheartedly. Promise not to repeat the habits in your marriage and keep it. Learn how to communicate your thoughts carefully and appropriately. Even anger can be moderated and expressed with tact. If this is too difficult for you, seek professional help.
Pause before you answer back.
Because of your inability to think before speaking, you end up regretting the harsh lines youve blurted out. At the height of an emotion, you tend to say exaggerated wonderful compliments, impossible promises or stern feedbacks. So pause for a while and screen out your words. Taking deep breaths or counting from one to ten might also help.
Be patient.
Verbal abuse is triggered with an act that doesnt please you. Because you cant control your reaction, you burst out angry words and disdainful remarks. However, your patience and respect for your partner can keep you from abusing him/her again.
Marriage can still be fixed after a verbal abuse as long as you and your partner learn from the experience. Your experience is your powerful guide on how to put back the pieces together again. Reconcilation will always come if youre willing to forgive each other. The change you desire might not occur instantly as time is an important element. If youre about to give up, just remember that this tough journey ends up with a strengthened relationship.
by: Belle Smith
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