subject: Married Life Following Unfaithfulness And The Long Distance Credibility [print this page] Soon after learning your mate had an extramarital affair there was a number of feelings threatening to totally overpower you however to your own merit you have been an awful lot stronger than you actually presumed. You confronted your significant other and presented the proof and also managed to control your rage as soon as they admitted to it.
Your mate said they were sorry and swore up and down it would never happen again. You accepted their apology but told them in no uncertain terms that not only do things need to change but you need to see evidence that they are..
You also listed what you could do to assist them along with personal action steps you can take to improve the relationship. That does not mean you are taking the blame for what they did but you understand and accept for the marriage to survive it is essential that both of you make changes.
But at this point in time you happen to be filled with dread. The significant other is going to be traveling for a few days.
It is terrible enough that there are your concerns when they go off to work or out to run some errand but it passes. You give them a ring at work they are there. Whenever it is time for your spouse to come home they do.
But this taking a trip for a couple days puts stuff in a totally unique location. Guarantees from your mate are not helping. Indeed they've completed substantial progress however that is not really causing you to feel better regarding them being out of your presence for a couple of days.
Now you can always go with them. Make use of several vacation days from your job and travel together. This can make it feel as some type of baby sitting and in all honesty it is. However what it also says is you are not at the point you can really trust your spouse which is understandable.
Hopefully your significant other can understand this. They may even decide to invite you to go with them. Bear in mind that if they travel regularly it may not always be possible for you to travel with them but in the initial phase after infidelity it could help the two of you immeasurably.
Another choice would be to create a check in system. You can call them as well as the other way around. If they are attending a conference for example it can be possible that they can send you their agenda so you as well as the significant other can time the calls to fit. To go further the two of you can utilize your personal cellphones as a web cam to keep an eye on your significant other. There's also text messaging.
Do these things sound extreme? If so that's because they are. The instant your partner made the decision to commit infidelity they in essence took things to the extreme. If they are serious about salvaging the marriage then there are occasions when they're going to need to come to grips with a huge quantity of keeping an eye on.
by: D. A. Campbell
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