subject: Parenting Tip - Forbid Favoritism in Kids [print this page] Parenting Tip - Forbid Favoritism in Kids
Yes. You should never have a favorite child. Some parents say that they will be lying if they tell you they do not prefer one kid over the other. They just can't help it. But before you continue this habit, consider the long term effects on children.
Effects of Favoritism
If this is not well-handled, it may instill jealousy and sibling rivalry. Some parents publicly declare their favoritism which is completely unhealthy for either child. The preferred child may become arrogant and snobbish and take advantage of the situation while the least preferred child may feel inferior and low-self esteem. This may even affect the school grades.
Parenting is tough if you agree with me. Especially when it comes to this issue. So if you fall into this category, here are the do's and don't:
Do's in Avoiding Favoritism in Kids
1. Spend time to engage with the child that you seem to 'love lesser'. Try to find some activities that you both enjoy and realize his or her strengths too.
2. Do practice equalities between the kids. It will be awfully obvious if you bring one child out and leave the other at home or buy treats for only one child unless you are ready to justify a reason that they will accept.
3. Find out the reason why you prefer one child over the other and try to find some ways to love all the same way.
Don'ts in Avoiding Favoritism in Kids
1. Never reveal directly or indirectly your favorite kid to anyone except for probably your spouse.
2. Never give an answer to any of your child whom you love more. Some kids may trick you to reveal but you should be tight-lipped about it.
3. Never influence your spouse that one child is better than the other.
4. Do not prejudge or draw conclusion based on your experience because kids can change too.
There is no perfect parenting so if you can't help but have a favorite child, do keep the secret to yourself!
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